


What I Did For Love

by darknessvisible



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Bendemption We Deserve, But she doesn't love him back, Finn loves Rey, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Sex in Space, Sex on a Sith planet, Tender virgins, Unrequited Love, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), good boi sweater, sad and sexy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:28:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22485592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darknessvisible/pseuds/darknessvisible
Summary: Rey goes back to Exogol, even though she knows there’s nothing there for her. She begins to have dreams when she’s there, always about Ben Solo; touching him and experiencing each other in ways they hadn’t gotten the chance to before his death. When she starts having those dreams back at the Resistance base, too, and she can feel his touch as strongly as if he were flesh and blood, Rey begins to wonder if there is a way to bring Ben home, after all.Aka what starts off as a Sex Dreams on a Sith Planet fic turns into a Bendemption We Deserve Fix-it fic
Relationships: Finn/Rey/Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 3
Kudos: 26





	What I Did For Love

**Author's Note:**

> This is like a fake prologue because it's technically the beginning of the story but it's much shorter than the chapters to come. It's meant to give you a taste of the sexy angst fest that will follow. I'm always looking for beta readers, more friends in the fandom, and feedback! See end notes for rambling thoughts

When she lands, there is barely room to dock. 

Everywhere, as far as the blued horizon goes, are remnants of ships. Some still mostly intact, even. She doesn’t linger on any of these relics--these objects of death. 

No. She came here to resurrect something else. 

The stone platform hovers, ever a servant to this masterless place, and waits for her to claim it with her footfalls. She does, without hesitation, and as she is lowered into the rubble she wonders if the air will greet her differently. 

She certainly greets the wreckage all the same, as if it could spring to life and her lines would be rehearsed perfectly. She stands in the last places she stood before. 

The cracked throne emerges, soundless like everything on this planet now. 

“I know you.” She finds herself speaking, the recipient an idea more than a person. The Jedi she became here. The anger she left along the way as her breadcrumbs home. The family she could not deny anymore. “I’m Rey.” 

_Rey_. 

Her own mind answers back. 

_Rey, of the sand dunes._

_Rey, of the badlands._

_A nobody._

“A Jedi,” she tests the word softly, sorrowfully. 

The air bleeds with dust. None of the pillars remain upright. And still, in the glinting piles of ash--lost Sith whose bodies were now as passionless as their pursuits--a sapphire hue emanates. 

It reminds Rey of Ben Solo. 

Or perhaps it is that everything reminds Rey of Ben Solo and this is the one way she will allow herself to summon him. She is too tired to recognize her very own pilgrimage to Exogol as her convocation for him. 

She reaches the spot where they kissed, and her knees willingly give in. The sky is far above her and there is no wind, no recourse from the silence but for her own breathing. 

“Ben,” she resurrects her final words to him, hoping for nothing. 

But a tiny, exhaling breeze tickles her neck. It is so quick that she mistakes it for longing. 

_What does that longing look like?_ Her mind entreats a memory. Rey closes her eyes. Their kiss plays out in her head. 

_His hands are so warm, even the sight of his blood is a relief to her. It means he is here, he is healing._

_“Rey,” he says her name back, like an invocation. “I thought I lost you.”_

_She smiles, though, and his prayer is heard. “I knew I’d find you.”_

_They are so close that another kiss is palpable. She can see the creases of his smile, like a web of ink, telling a new story. This one free from loneliness. Free from all the pain they had each been bestowed._

_His hand finds the side of her cheek and she cannot contain her joy. It bursts like a planet, and now she is on top of him. On top of his alive body, so ruined and beautiful, like a sky full of electric stars._

_“That was my first kiss.” He whispers against her dirtied forehead, his lips graze her eyelids and she feels for once so proud to be a nobody from a small desert planet because it is Ben Solo who loves her, who is the family--the belonging--she has been waiting for._

_“I wouldn’t change it. Any of it.” She whispers back._

_Their eyes meet. His lips are swollen, gingerly testing the outline of her face. Each kiss is a stolen happiness. They are thieves together, tangled in the ruins of the Sith, the Jedi--every attempt to bring order to the galaxy._

_“When I first felt you through the Force, I had a vision.” Ben murmurs, his voice deep like a rightful prince._

_“The island?” Rey holds onto him tightly._

_“No,” he smiles, “not that. I saw you and I together. In a way I’d never been with anyone before. I saw you whole, as you are, and I saw us become one.”_

_“A Dyad,” she nods slowly._

_But Ben shakes his head, and now his hands are positioned on either side of her waist. “No, just us.” He moves a hand to the strip of fabric wound around her stomach._ _To illustrate his confession, he slips one finger under the fabric. “Have you ever given that to someone?”_

_Rey is blushing, but she is also a warrior now. She shakes her head, unafraid of what her answer will mean for them. “I want to give that to you, Ben Solo.”_

_She thinks of telling him that he is her other half even without the Dyad bond. That she chooses him and will choose every day, over and over again, if he would just come back…_

Her reverie is broken. Ben Solo is dead, still, and Rey is alone on the splintered stone ground, shaking from the waves of tears she inherits from the soundless air around her.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! If you're checking here, that means you like rambling. Or, it means you know I'm going to share all the music inspo I have in my head for this story. Behold:
> 
>   
> [no one can hurt you](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCTMq7xvdXU)  
> 
> 
>   
> [it's all gone wrong, heaven hold us](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQjXNyC0liA)  
> 


End file.
